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71 results for "sluts"
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One Liners Joke
I'm as bored as a slut on her period.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not calling you a slut or anything, I'm just saying your private parts are more like public parts.
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Dirty Joke
Sluts are just girls who can't control there whore-mones.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying you're a slut, but if you were a national monument you'd be the Statue of Liberty. A ton of dudes have been inside her.
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Short Joke
Tacos are the sluts of the food world. Pretty much everything imaginable is jammed into them.
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Dirty Joke
Twinkle twinkle little slut name one guy you havent fucked.
Was he skinny was he tall? Nevermind, you do them all.
Twinkle twinkle little bitch, close your legs it smells like fish.
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Short Joke
*Nerd and slut finally make up and become boyfriend and girlfriend*
Slut - What are you going to do to me?
Nerd - I'm going to treat you like my homework, Slam you on my desk and do you all night long.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut but she's been under more sheets than the KKK.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut, but she can count the people she's had sex with on 1 hand...if that hand was holding a calculator.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina should be in the NFL Hall of Fame for greatest wide receiver
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Dirty Joke
I'm not calling you a slut but you've had more balls in your mouth than hungry hungry hippos.
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Blonde Joke
Slut - "I hate you bitch"
Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."
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One Liners Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut but she's been on more wieners than ketchup.
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One Liners Joke
I'm not calling you a "slut". I am calling you a "penny" because you are two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
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One Liners Joke
I'm not saying your'e a slut but you've put more balls in your mouth than the Hungry Hungry Hippos.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been pounded more times than the I in Pixar
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Dirty Joke
Im not saying she's a slut, but if she was a slice of bread, she'd be the first in the bag. Everyone touches her but nobody wants her.
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Dirty Joke
twinkle twinkle little bitch name a guys ball you haven't itched
was they big or was they small its okay you scratched them all
twinkle twinkle little slut, shut the f*ck up you just got f*cked
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Short Joke
youre probably naked under those clothes you slut
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One Liners Joke
Im not saying she's a slut, I'm just saying I've seen her vagina on dirty jobs.
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Dirty Joke
If a girl bangs 10 guys she's a slut. If a guy does that he's gay.
Definitely gay.
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Dirty Joke
I am not calling you a slut,but if dick had wings your mouth would be the airport.
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Dirty Joke
What's does a slut and the Bermuda Triangle have in common? They swallow alot of semen
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Yo Momma Joke
Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina has been used more than Google.
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Short Joke
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying shes a slut,
But I am saying that when she sees balls, she goes after them like a hungry hungry hippo.
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Comebacks Joke
I would slap you, but I don't want to get slut on my hand.
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Blonde Joke
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut but she has a membership from deep throat sea.
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Dirty Joke
How fast can you guess these words?
1._ _ _ k
2._ _ndom
3.d_ck
Answers:
1. book
2. random
3.duck
You didn't get them right you dirty minded slut!
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut but she did get fired from the sperm bank, for drinking on the job.
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Comebacks Joke
Twinkle Twinkle little slut
Name a guy you haven't f*cked
Was he skinny, was he tall
Nevermind you did them all
Twinkle Twinkle little b*tch
Close your legs it smells like fish
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One Liners Joke
Dora thinks she's cute showing off her belly button! Slut.
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Blonde Joke
A redhead says to her blonde stepsister, I slept with a Brazilian.
The blonde replies,Oh my God!You slut! How many is a Brazilian?
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Dirty Joke
Im not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more times than the first pipe on Flappy Bird.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut I'm saying she has been under more sheets then the KKK
~AJ
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Dirty Joke
Twinkle twinkle little slut
name a guy you have not f*cked
was he skinny was he tall
never mind you f*cked them all
Twinkle twinkle little b*tch close your legs it smells like fish
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Yo Momma Joke
Yo momma so slutty they call her vagina the "man cave"
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Dirty Joke
What's long thick and has cum in it A cucumber u dirty minded slut
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Yo Momma Joke
yo momma such a slut, she's like the train tracks.
she's been laid all over the country
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Dirty Joke
Twinkle twinkle little slut name a guy you have not f*cked was he small or was he tall oh wait you f*cked them all twinkle twinkle little whore close your legs your not a door
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Comebacks Joke
-Texting Her Father- Daughter: JIMMY WHY DID YOU BREAK UP WITH IS IT BC OF THE SLUT YOU
CHEATED ON WITH ME :( Daughter: oh sorry dad that was meant for Jimmy Dad: On a totally unrelated topic have you seen
my shotgun anywhere?
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Yo Momma Joke
Yo momma's such a slut that she sat on pinnochio's face and told him to tell a lie
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Long Joke
Twinkle twinkle little whore
Your at school not jersey shore
Your a slutty orange mess
Please go find a longer dress
Twinkle twinkle little whore
Your still a f*cking and still want more
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One Liners Joke
I'm not calling you a slut, but if you were a video game you'd be rated 'E For Everyone'
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Dirty Joke
i'm not saying she's a slut but her saliva has a higher sperm count that most guy's ejaculations
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Short Joke
Thought of the day: Just think about how slutty girls would dress if Halloween was in July.
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Dirty Joke
ur such a slut people call u a bowling ball, u get fingered thrin diwn the lane and come back for more
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Comebacks Joke
Slut: Hey loser!
Me: Do you want a fight?!
Slut: You're not hard.
Me: No, not over you!
Class: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
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Short Joke
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf, Jack got high and dropped his fly and Jill said "Where’s The Beef?" Jack and Jill Went up the hill And planned to do some kissing. Jack made a pass And grabbed her arse Now his two front teeth are missing. Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name is randy Jack and Jill went up the hill and did it in the water Jack slipped His condom ripped and they ended up having a daughter Jack And Jill Went up the hill So Jack could lick Jills fanny, all Jack got was a mouth fall of cock Cause Jills a f**king Tranny. Jack and Jill went up the hill Both with some marijuana Jack got high and Opened his fly And Jill said Iawanna HICKERY DICKERY DOC THIS BITCH WAS SUCKIN MY COCK THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO I DUMPED MY GOO AND DUMPED HER AT THE END OF THE BLOCK. Hickory dickory dock The homo sucked on a chock The chock shot cum The homo said "yum!" Hickory dickory dock Jack be nimble jack be quick jack jump over the candlestick, if jacks so nimble and jacks so quick why is he in the hospital with a lil burnt dick. Little Bow Peep had a sheep that she kept in her back yard. When she would pull down her panties, and show him her fanny, his little wooly ding dong would get hard! Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. You ain't nothing but a hoe. U think you're cool, u think you're classy. Reality Check: You're really trashy. Mirror mirror on the wall, f*ck your lies, f*ck them all. I don't care what you say, I'm the shit all day, every day! The dirty looks, the jealous stares. The best part is, you think I CARE. Roll your eyes & talk your shit. Jealous b*tches make me sick. Jingle bells seniors smell, juniors all the way... sophmores suck cause they're all sluts and freshys have no say... HEY! Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard to fetch her poor dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over And the b*tch got a bone of her own! Peter peter pumpkin eater had a wife loved to beat her smacked her twice across the head f*cked her ass and went to bed Sing a song of bum sex, An arse hole full of cum. 4 and 20 fat cocks forced up her bum, and when the ass was open her butt began to bleed, wasn't that a shitty dish to drop between her knees. The king was in the parlour moting out the wench. The queen was in the kitchen strumming on her bean. The maid was in the garden banging on her pussy, when down came a penis and squirted in her nose! Little bow peep f*cked a sheep blew a horse, licked his feet, she ate his ass so very nice tongued his balls not once but twice. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, He's an alcoholic and I am too, Whenever we go downtown The people always frown What a shame John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. It wasn't the spider That crept up beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn. Humpty Dumpty f*cked a fat whore Humpty Dumpty f*cked her some more All the kings horses n all the kings men Bent the b*tch over and f*cked her again Yankee Doodle is a kid that just now had a baby, he stuck a penis up his ass until it made some gravy. Rapunzel Rapunzel CUT down your hair Cause oh ma word you are a rasta down stairs Your pussy's too hairy My dick's even scared Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet With her legs open wide Down came a spider Look right inside her and said damn that pussy's wide. little druggy sat in her buggy smoking a joint of weed along came a spider who sat down beside her and sold her a kilo of speed Heres the lil slut, short and stout, bend me over and i will shout, so lay me down and eat me out! In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue hit a rock, split his cock, and pissed all over the ocean blue (Row Row Your Boat) Suck suck suck a Dick Gently up and down One and two right near his ass Then he will Kum at last Jump hump on a dick, make it nice and stiff, once it's ready, open steady, make me moan and twitch. (Row Row Row Your Boat Animorphic Version) Fuck, f*ck, f*ck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. 69 a porcupine. Orgy at the zoo. Fuck, f*ck, f*ck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Finger an orangutang. Orgy at the zoo. Fuck, f*ck, f*ck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Eat a grape, rape an ape. Orgy at the zoo. Fuck, f*ck, f*ck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Masturbate with a snake Sunning at the zoo. Fuck, f*ck, f*ck a duck Gently in the ass Roll around on the ground Until you cum at last! Mary Mary Quite Contrary Mary Mary quite contrary shaved her pussy cause it was so damn hairy. Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow I live in a flat you f*cking twat so how the f*ck should I know Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow With wizz and e’s and ganja trees and coke as white as snow Mary Mary quite contrary, how does your fanny cope, with pubic hair and cocks up there and spunk bubbles all in a row. Mary, Mary, guite contrary, How does your garden grow? With a tuft of hair, (you know where), And three pretty holes in a row! Roses Are Red Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you. Roses are red that much is true but violets are purple not f*cking blue. Roses are red. Sex is elementary. Let's call up a friend, And try double entry! Roses are red. Nuts are round. Skirts go up. Panties go down. Belly to belly. Skin to skin. When it's stiff, stick it in. If all are willing you'll get double billing. So, after one at each end you'll need time to mend. Roses are red. My mind is twisted. Bend over baby, Your about to get fisted. Roses are red ,lemons r sour, open your legs and give me and hour kissing is a habbit f*cking is a game guys get all the pleasure gurls get all the pain. 10 min of pleasure 9months of pain 3 days in the hospital a baby with no name the baby is a basturd the mother is a whore this wouldnt have happened if the rubber hadnt torn, sex is like math you subtract the clothes add the bed divide the legs and pray to go you dont multiply. roses are red grass is green open your legs and fill you with cream sex is evil sex is a sin sinns are your given so stick it in. roses are nice violets are fine ill be the 6 if you be the 9. eat me beat me bite me blow me f*ck me suck me very slowly if you like it dont be sassy just use your tongue and make it nasty Roses are red, Violets are blue, What I thought was vaseline, Turned out to be glue! Roses are red Violets are blue Im in love but not with you. You told your frieds that I was a trick. and I told my friends you have a weak dick. Roses are red, Poems are corny, the way you get down makes me feel horny! Roses are red Your blood is too you look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry I'll be there too. Not in the cage But laughing at you! Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you? Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle little slut, You Like Dick inside your butt. Twinkle Twinkle little whore, Close your legs, they're not a door Twinkle twinkle little b**ch, Close your legs it smells like fish "Twinkle twinkle little snitch, mind your own business you nosey b*tch. Twinkle Twinkle little slut Name a guy you haven't f*cked Is he skinny is he tall Nevermined you f*cked them all Twinkle twinkle little b*tch Close your legs They smell like fish Twinkle twinkle little whore, you're at school, not Jersey Shore. You're a slutty orange mess, please go find a longer dress! Twinkle, twinkle, little star Hey baby have you seen the backseat of my car With your legs up high I'll make you cry and make you forget where you are Twinkle twinkle little slut May I f*ck you in the butt Fuck you hard till you cum While I'm jizzin' in your bum Twinkle twinkle little slut Can I f*ck your precious cunt Twinkle twinkle little whore, you're cheaper than the dollar store. Twinkle twinkle little whore, I can't pay you anymore, its not cause I'm broke you see, its cause i like pussy free Mary Had A Little Lamb Mary had a little lamb her cow had B.S.E Mary was a kiky slut and give them H.I.V Mary had a little lamb, His fleece all white and whispy, Along came foot and mouth disease, And now he's black and crispy. Mary had a little lamb it's fleece was black as charcoal. And everywhere that Mary went she'd kick it up the arsehole. Mary had a little lamb She also had a duck She put them on the mantle piece To see if they would f*ck Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. it followed her to school one day. between two slices of bread Dirty Rhymes When Shit goes down and sides are taken, you find out who was real and who was fakin. Everyone wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain. She spends hours & hours fixing her hair, Just for the boy who will never care. Were all in the same game; just different levels Dealing with the same hell; just different devils U jerk; i dougie. ur cool; I'm epic. ur Fresh; I'm Fly. u Kid; i Joke. u walk; i swag. u dream; I believe. ur Different; I'm Original! I cared, you didn't. I cried, you laughed. I was hurt, you smiled. I moved on, you realized. Too late. Barney is a dinosaur With no imagination Shoved his finger up his arse And died of constipation Ashes to ashes dust to dust your pussy full of rust Wanted by many, taken by none, looking at some, but waiting for one. There once was a lass called Louise, whose cunt smelt like Limburger Cheese, she leaked so much grunge, that she purchased a sponge, that sopped up the muck to her knees. Before you assume, learn. Before you judge, understand. Before you hurt, feel. Before you say, think. You call me a BITCH, Actually I'm beautiful SHIT, You think your all that, but your a SON OF A BITCH There once was a lady from ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She leant on her back Opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling Everyone's doing it doing it doing it Picking their nose and chewing it chewing it chewing it They think its some kind of candy but its snot Mother Fucker titty sucker two balled b*tch ping pong pussy and a rubber dick, Your daddy's got a dick like a rattle snake, your momma's got a pussy like a garden rake. I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast forward the bullshit. Rewind the memories. Words begin with ABC. Numbers begin with 123. Music begins with do, re, mi. And this love begins with you and me. "I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live, I learn, I've been hurt but I'm alive. I'm human, I'm not perfect but I'm thankful." I'm strong cause I know my weaknesses. I'm alive because i'm a fighter. I'm wise because I've been foolish.I laugh because I've know sadness. I don’t hate you, I never will. I just act like I do, because it’s easier than admitting that I miss you. Bitch, please. Last time I checked, awesome ended with 'ME' and ugly started with 'u' She comes off as strong, but maybe she fell asleep crying. She acts like nothing is wrong, but maybe she's just really good at lying. There once was a girl by the name of Kim She had a Guy by the name of Jim Big fat balls and a hairy long dick Stuck it down her throat and made her sick She gagged and puked and gagged some more Yes sir e she is a whore Big fat tits and a hairy cunt to boot If you don't watch it she will set on your snoot Suck your head right up her twat Her ass is as big as a parking lot She died at the age of 26 Because she like to suck those dicks. Little John sat in the class, The teacher drew a cucumber on the white glass, She asked: " What is it? " Little John raised his hand, He answered: "A Dildo" Little John was sent out the class, And by came the principal. He asked Little John, Why he was not in class. Little John replied: "I really don't know" The principal brought John back in the class And yelled at the teacher: "Why is Little John out the class? And who drew a dildo on your white glass?" Thunder Buddies (Ted) When you hear the sound of thunder, dont you get too scared. Just grab your thunder buddy, and say these magic words: Fuck you, Thunder. You can suck my dick. You cant get me, Thunder, because you're just Gods farts.
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Dirty Joke
I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she advertised on tv, it would be called a nymphomercial.
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Comebacks Joke
slut comes by and starts shit
"Oh im sorry, i cant hear you with that dick in your mouth".
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Yo Momma Joke
Your moms such a slut that her pussys been used more then google
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Dirty Joke
What can't control their whore-moans
Sluts
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Dirty Joke
I know your not a slut but you've been banged more times
Than the firstpipe in flappy bird
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Comebacks Joke
Slut: You do realize your a big faggot right?
Me: Bitch, Atleast I have friends, and ain't do elephant that eats on the f*cking damn floor for a living, you only touched 2 püssys man, your cat and yourself. so shut up.
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Dirty Joke
Twinkle Twinkle little slut
Name A Guy u haven't f*cked
Was he skinny.
Was he tall
Never mind
You did them all
Twinkle Twinkle little b*tch
Close your legs they smell like fish
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Dirty Joke
*to the tune of jingle bells*
Twerky slut,
Twerky slut,
Get the f*ck way
We don't want no mily Cyrus jr
Messing up our day
Hay!
Twerky slut,
Twerky slut,
Stop I'm gonna be sick
For God's sake your made of plastic
None of yous legit
Hey
Twerky slut..
Jerk: Hey b*tch ain't got no time for Christmas Carols!
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Dirty Joke
Kristi: Lauren is such a slut!
Mom: Don't call your sister a slut
Kristi: What I mean is she rarely sleeps in her own bed!
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Comebacks Joke
Ratchet Bitch : I would slap you but I don't want to get slut on my hand
Me : Don't know why considering it's all over your outfit.
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Comebacks Joke
Slut: If your so gay, why don't you eat cum
Guy: Because it's in your mouth.
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Dirty Joke
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? It's not what you think you dirty slut! it is just a $100 bill.
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Dirty Joke
Hey The Slut King, do you prefer sitting on a cake and eating a cock or sitting on a cock eating a cake?
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Comebacks Joke
Gay guy: Your girlfriends a slut Me: Hey at least she gets more dick than you.
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Dirty Joke
Dig Bick
You dirty minded slut, bet you read that wrong.
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Dirty Joke
Little Lexi was going to get a drink of water during the night, and she overheard her father say "You little b*tch. You like that, huh?" And her mother replied with, "Oh yeah, I love your dick. Go deeper!!" The next day she asked her mother what dick meant. The mom told her a dick was a coat. She then asked her dad what b*tch meant. Her father said that a b*tch was a person. Later on, Lexi found her parents arguing. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!" Her mom shouted. "You're just a SLUT!" Her dad replied. Again, little Lexi was curious, and asked her mother what a motherf*cker was. Her mother said it was a turkey. Later, she asked her dad what a slut meant. He said it meant toilet. After that, her dad was on the toilet yelling "Honey, I'm having a big shit on the toilet so let's not have sex until later?" She asked what shit was and he said eating. He also said having sex meant socializing. After all that, her family came over for Thanksgiving. Little Lexi said "Happy Thanksgiving, b*tches! We're going to shit soon, my dad is upstairs eating the slut in the bathroom! My moms going to cut the motherf*cker shortly! Hang up your dicks and stay a while! I can't wait to have sex with you!
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Yo Momma Joke
Yo mamma is so slutty if her vagina was a video game it would be rated e for everyone.
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Dirty Joke
Slut: I like happiness inside me.
You: Where the f*ck did the "hap" come from?
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Comebacks Joke
Girl: Ew your so freaking gay
Other girl: Pah lease I'm straighter than the pole your MOM dances on.
Girl: My mom dosen't pole dance sweety, she works as a docter.
Other girl: Eh, sluts gotta have a damn outfit that shows her pussy to.
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Dirty Joke
What’s long, hard, and leaves you feeling weak?
The day, you dirty minded slut!